& i just want to be happy..

what the hell. i deffinatly didnt need this vacation, i did fucking nothing. and now its showing. this is disgusting. i dont want to be like this. i NEED this. not for anyone eles but for me, im sick of looking and feeling this way, its not something i want to wake up and look at everymorning. things need to change, or i dont know what ill do.

i am 5’6 and weight 125 pounds. most people don’t think thats big and give me a whole bunch of crap when i tell them i am unhappy with how i look. they do not understand because they are not me, the don’t what i see everyday. i cant wait to be skinny.